Thursday, May 6, 2010

Two Ants

On the lovely blindingly bright day an ant went walking. He then noticed another ant nearby with a strange look on his face. He moved straight to the other ant.
“Hey how you doing?” asked Ant1. He stared at the other ant slightly worried. His head turned slightly to the right.
Ant2 looked up, “I’ve been better. I saw an anteater,” he replied.
Ant1 instantly gasped, “That’s no good,” he frowned.
“It wasn’t so bad, he had no tongue,” Ant2 remembered. In the tall grass as he moved around he saw a horrid head. The eater was roaring in triumph obviously he had recently devoured the plate of food that was a different anthill.
Ant1 let out a sigh of relief, “Well then, that’s great!” he smiled. Without a tongue he could no longer eat their friends and family.
“Not exactly, the anteater had sharp teeth,” complained Ant2.
“Oh dear, how horrible,” Ant1 whined. Realizing that the length of the snout was just enough to reach down and snatch ants with hulking speed to an outrageous height.
“I wasn’t afraid though, because he was stuck in a trap,” Ant2 heroically explained. When the ant had pushed through the heavy colossal grass he sighted the mammoth creature. This titan although powerful was caught in a immense trap.
“So he posed no threat?” Ant1 wondered.
“To me no to the blind ant walking by him yes,” Ant2 became sad.
“But he got away safely, didn’t he?” Ant1 became quite worried. Imagining the ant moving forward past the demon. With swift extreme speed the monster would snag the blind ant and comsume it.
“Yes but that’s only because I came to his rescue and defeated the anteater,” Ant2 boasted. He stood forward in the sunlight, his chest shining in the brightness.
“That sounds fantastic.” Ant1 stared in amazement.
“Yes, or it would’ve been if the hunter hadn’t come to get the anteater,” Ant2 forced a smile.
“The hunter, how did you get away?” Ant1 asked, quite interested. The almighty hunter had defeated everything he had seen. He also had stomped over many anthill.
“Well the hunter took the anteater away then left taking away the problem in the first place,” Ant2 finished up. Suddenly he didn't seem different from any other ant after all.
“Oh well this was quite an interesting story thank you for telling me,” Ant1 happily walked off, in search of another captivating tale.

1 comment:

  1. An excellent effort at sentence fluency - the only thing missing here is a couple of VSS (very short sentences), as most of them are longer...Good effort with the detail and description that highlights the dialogue...
    Sentence fluency - 4

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