Super Special Awesome Card Shuffling

Alright, so here I will explain to you how to, shuffle cards. The ultimate life skill.
So first of all you'll need a deck of cards which will look something like, a small rectangular shape with a small opening in the top. Be careful because if you aren't then instead of finding the already open top you may open the closed bottom releasing the cards which will fall to the ground, hope you like 52 pick up.
After you've opening your deck, or picked it off the ground turn it upside down slowly with your hand carefully positioned to catch the cards. If done correctly you should now be holding 52 cards in your hand(s).
Now that you've got the cards the small rectangular shape that holds the deck is somewhat useless meaning you don't need it until you are done playing the game you need to shuffle the deck for. So place the box aside somewhere that you won't forget about it but it won't bother you.
So depending on the game you're playing using these cards you may or may not need the joker cards. In most decks there are 2 of these, but in some rarer decks there may be 4. Using 2 hands firmly grasp the cards by the bottom face up so you can clearly see the pictures. After this is down slowly with your thumbs move the cards to each separate side, away from each other. When this is done, you should see many more faces and numbers with small shapes, and such on them.
When you can see all the numbers and such look for the 2 cards that have the word Joker, on them with a picture of a man usually wearing a strange suit. There are occasions where this man will be holding items but it depends on the deck you are holding in your possession. After locating these cards carefully move your one of your hands in a position so that you can hold all the cards in a single hand. Once you have completed this task, look at the next.
this is the next task, if you have checked the instructions correctly you should have both hands on the cards with one holding them all, perhaps even with only one hand holding them. Once you're holding them all with one hand use the other to remove the 2 jokers that you may or may not need depending on the game you are playing currently.
After this is completed you can now begin to actually shuffle the deck. To shuffle the deck, there are many different ways but one of the most common and efficient ways is to do the way I'm going to explain. First you must take the deck in both hands face down.
Next you have to divide the deck into two equal piles to the best of your ability. Once you have done this hold the 2 small halves of the deck in each hand, but not together.
Now that you have the piles together prepare for the real shuffling. While you are holding the pile in your hand, Put your middle finger on the top of the cards to hold them together. The location your middle finger should be is on the top of the deck while it faces a wall in front of you.
After you have your middle finger on the top of it, place your thumb over the bottom of the cards, the exact opposite of your middle finger.
Repeat the last two steps with your other hand and the other small deck.
After you're holding your small decks the right way, you must use your index finger meaning, yes these steps will only work is you have at least 3 fingers on each hand.
Now with both decks move your hand downward slightly until you have almost reached a flat surface. With both decks about a half a hand away from the table halt all movement in your hands.
Now with use your index finger. Place it in the middle of the back of the cards on each deck. At the same time slowly move your middle fingers off each deck and release both of the decks. This will shuffle them.


Congratulations, hope you have fun playing cards.